Thursday, May 21, 2009

Letting go..

The wind blows forever on the prairie. Yesterday, we had tremendous gusts that knocked 2 baby robins out of their secure little nest. Unfortunately, one of them was eaten by my mean ol' cat, Kumquat. We found the other today. What a pitiful sight he is, chirping and flailing about. The kids adopted him (named him Pip) and are digging up worms which he is greedily consuming. The protective momma is hopping about, never leaving her nearby post. I don't know what is going through her dear little bird brain. I can't imagine how she must have felt (do birds have feelings?) when her sweet babies were tossed to the wind and consumed by a foul beast while she could do nothing. She is still out there as I type, hopping here and there...cocking her head and looking around, flying from her nest to the ground. This made me think of how helpless we are as parents, so often. When accident or disease strikes, what can we do? When our children walk away in rebellion from us or from God, when they are taken by crime. I have never experienced any of these things in any severity. The closest I have come to this are my 2 miscarriages. Seeing that little body on the ultrasound, heart beating, limbs moving...instant wonder and amazement. Then to go back for the next appointment, only to have the heart stopped, the body still. I can't explain the grief the first time that happened to me. She was my first little Anna, the one that Anna Rose is named for. Susannah was my second little miracle to go to heaven. I have lost 3 cousins...2 to accidents and 1 to sickness. One was only 7...one was a new graduate from High school with so much to look forward to. How does a parent let their child go into God's hands...how does one realize that their child belongs to God and He loves them so much more than we can ever love them? Only by the grace of God. I can't answer these questions but I do ponder them. I received some insight into this when I read this blog.

On another note, my Grandmother is no longer a candidate for surgery but in hospice care now. She is not doing too well. Prayers that she will have peace and comfort at this time are appreciated.

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