Remembering baby....

Last year at this time my sweet little baby was delivered into the hands of the Lord......

Here is her story...
I found out in early October of 2007 that I was expecting again. Both Jesse and I were so excited. We told the kids right away and everyone rejoiced that they would soon have a new sibling. I tested positive on a Friday, but then on Sunday, after church, I started bleeding. At that point, I wished I hadn't said anything to the kids because I felt it was over. I bled for 3 days, which wasn't like a normal period, and I felt like there was a possibility that I was still pregnant. I didn't see a doctor because we didn't have insurance or the money to do so at that time. I took another HPT and it was very darkly positive, so I remained hopeful.

At about 6 wks I am usually hit pretty hard with m/s but nothing this time. That was disturbing to me. I hadn't had anymore bleeding, so I decided that I would go see a doctor after Thanksgiving. We went to Iowa for Thanksgiving and I started bleeding there, mostly spotting, nothing heavy.

When we returned to Florida, I went to the ER one night to find out for sure. They did blood tests and two ultrasounds but I wasn't told anything right away. I was there for 5 hours. Finally a doctor came and told me there was a mass in my uterus but no beating heart/no baby. I was very sad but pretty much confirmed what I already felt. I was about 11 weeks.

When I had my first m/c, I was about 13 weeks but the baby had died earlier. However, I didn't start bleeding until the doctor confirmed the baby had died. It was like a psychological thing. The same thing happened this time. As soon as the m/c was positively confirmed, I started bleeding heavily. I bled and cramped all night and was in constant pain. The bleeding continued for a few days. I never did see a doctor to follow up but just concentrated on healing.

If this little one hadn't gone to Heaven, I wouldn't have Anna Rose. She was conceived a month after I lost this little one. I am so excited that one day I will see her (I felt very strongly that I had lost a little girl and had named her Susannah). She is in heaven with my first little Anna that I lost in February 2003 and my dad. My dad loved his grandchildren so much and he is with those two little ones now.