Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Remembering baby....

Last year at this time my sweet little baby was delivered into the hands of the Lord......

Here is her story...
I found out in early October of 2007 that I was expecting again. Both Jesse and I were so excited. We told the kids right away and everyone rejoiced that they would soon have a new sibling. I tested positive on a Friday, but then on Sunday, after church, I started bleeding. At that point, I wished I hadn't said anything to the kids because I felt it was over. I bled for 3 days, which wasn't like a normal period, and I felt like there was a possibility that I was still pregnant. I didn't see a doctor because we didn't have insurance or the money to do so at that time. I took another HPT and it was very darkly positive, so I remained hopeful.

At about 6 wks I am usually hit pretty hard with m/s but nothing this time. That was disturbing to me. I hadn't had anymore bleeding, so I decided that I would go see a doctor after Thanksgiving. We went to Iowa for Thanksgiving and I started bleeding there, mostly spotting, nothing heavy.

When we returned to Florida, I went to the ER one night to find out for sure. They did blood tests and two ultrasounds but I wasn't told anything right away. I was there for 5 hours. Finally a doctor came and told me there was a mass in my uterus but no beating heart/no baby. I was very sad but pretty much confirmed what I already felt. I was about 11 weeks.

When I had my first m/c, I was about 13 weeks but the baby had died earlier. However, I didn't start bleeding until the doctor confirmed the baby had died. It was like a psychological thing. The same thing happened this time. As soon as the m/c was positively confirmed, I started bleeding heavily. I bled and cramped all night and was in constant pain. The bleeding continued for a few days. I never did see a doctor to follow up but just concentrated on healing.

If this little one hadn't gone to Heaven, I wouldn't have Anna Rose. She was conceived a month after I lost this little one. I am so excited that one day I will see her (I felt very strongly that I had lost a little girl and had named her Susannah). She is in heaven with my first little Anna that I lost in February 2003 and my dad. My dad loved his grandchildren so much and he is with those two little ones now.

4 comments:

16 blessings'mom said...

It is so sad to lose a baby....but then you wouldn't have your Anna Rose....and yet, those babies in heaven are never forgotten by mommy.... by the way, your children are beautiful.

della

Robin said...

Thank you, Della!

cherrie said...

dad is taking care of those grandbabies--wouldn't he just be stunned to know he has 12 healthy grandchildren by his 2 girls:)

Robin said...

Yes, I don't think he could have imagined he would have that many grands!